Thursday, February 02, 2006

Addiction to Oil 2

There's Nothing Worse Than A Recovering Addict When it Comes To Judging Your Behavior

Bush on move is Guzzler in Chief


WASHINGTON - President Bush is one of the biggest gas guzzlers in the country and his first stop to sell the idea of breaking the nation's oil addiction burned up thousands of gallons of jet fuel and hundreds of gallons of gasoline.
The White House, Air Force and Secret Service keep a tight hold on the President's travel and mileage, but government and industry figures show that the Air Force One 747 jet gets less than the equivalent of a mile per gallon.

The President usually travels with a backup 747 as well as a huge C-17 aircraft packed with the presidential limo and the Marine One helicopter, which flies Bush from the White House to Andrews Air Force Base and around destination cities.

The C-17 gets even worse mileage than the 747s, and the chopper's mileage is pegged at .014 mpg.

Once on the ground, the President travels in a gas-gulping convoy. At the heart of that convoy are two Cadillac limos and several Chevy Suburbans.

Even without the bulletproof shields and other special measures, the limos get 18 mpg in the city.

The Suburbans get 15 mpg in the city, but that too is without the bullet- and blast-proofing and the communications gear the Secret Service and military travel with. Three to five Suburbans travel in a motorcade, which often stretches to more than a dozen vehicles.

Bush's 700-mile trip to give his State of the Union encore speech in Nashville yesterday cost $19,594.25 in fuel alone just for Air Force One, according to government figures.

He will carry his message over the next few days to Maplewood, Minn., Albuquerque and Dallas before heading back to Washington. That's another 4,341 miles.
Ah wish Ah could quet yew...
President Admits Petroleum Addiction, Enters Rehab

One day after claiming that “America is addicted to oil” in his State of the Union address, President Bush stunned the nation by confessing that he was personally battling a petroleum addiction and was entering rehab immediately.

In a nationally televised address from the Oval Office last night, a visibly agitated President Bush began his speech with the following simple statement: “My name is George W. Bush, and I am an oilaholic.”

The president, seeming to choke back tears, said that he had thought he was keeping his petroleum habit “under control,” but added, “When you start invading other countries to get more oil, you know you’ve hit bottom.”

Mr. Bush’s decision to enter rehab for his petroleum addiction drew applause from many quarters, including from James Frey, author of the bestselling memoir “A Million Little Pieces.”

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