Sunday, July 23, 2006

Why Men Get Stupid When They Get Married

A partner in bed makes men dull

New Delhi: Sharing a bed with another person makes men dull, latest research published in the New Scientist journal says.

When men spend the night in the same bed with someone else their sleep patterns are disturbed, even if they do not have sex. This leads to poorer performance in intelligence tests the next day, UK's Daily Mail newspaper said quoting an Austrian scientist's research.

Women, too, get disturbed sleep if they share a bed, but their mental ability is not affected. Professor Gerhard Kloesch of the University of Vienna and his team used eight young unmarried, childless couples for the study.

The couples were asked to spend 10 nights sleeping apart and 10 together while Kloesch monitored their rest patterns at night through wrist monitors and sleep diaries.

The next day the couples were given mental ability tests. Even without having sex, everyone had more disturbed sleep when sharing a bed than alone but the effects of this on the brain only affected the men.
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According to the journal: "Lack of sleep led to increased stress hormone levels in men and reduced their ability to perform simple cognitive tests the next day."

However women seemed to show no such ill-effects even if their sleep was just as disturbed. The researchers found women were more refreshed than men even when they slept the same number of hours and so concluded they must sleep more deeply.
So there you have it, folks. In one swell foop, a rationale for banning gay male marriage (at least ONE person in the couple ought to be able to make a decision the next morning!), and for separate bedrooms!

Now, I know, when I was married, I always was more relaxed and alert when I was sleeping at one of my girlfriends' apartments, but I didn't think there was a deeply rooted physiological reason for it! I just thought it was 'cause I got laid.

But now I know, it's all her fault, so I should get my lawyer on the horn pronto!