Friday, December 20, 2013

Nobody Asked Me, But...

1) I’ve stayed quiet about the whole Duck Dynasty thing because, frankly, it doesn’t interest me: a bunch of publicity-hungry morons willing to sell their souls for a shot at a TV show that’s watched by millions of other soulless morons who aren’t worth the very air they breathe holds little attraction for me. Less so that a loud-mouthed idiot said something to a magazine that should have come as no surprise (Hello! Redneck!) to anyone.

But now, the story has taken on a dimension that does intrigue me. It’s now come down to a twin-barrel argument, a power play on one hand and a “free speech” issue on the other.

Let me dismiss the easy one: one side or the other will blink. My guess is A&E will cancel the show outright, and the DD folks will sign a deal with CMT or some other redneck network that features yahoos whose last lines will usually be “Hold my beer, will ya?”

The free speech issue is a pretty easy one to dismantle too. Yes, Phil Robertson has every right to be as stupid, ignorant and pig-headed as he wants, and I support his right to be a total asshole.

I don’t have to pay for him to have a podium from which to speak, however. My cable (actually, dish) payment each month goes in part to funding his lifestyle, and feeding his ego. This is why A&E was right to suspend him: he will cost them money.

So if the rest of the Wyatt Family want to stomp off in protest, there’s the door. Use it. That’s a freedom I completely support.

2) Scott Brown is a hairy chested carpetbagger.

3) This could turn into a full-blown diplomatic crisis.

4) The scary part of this story is that people outside of Manhattan are now being forced to come to grips with this problem.

5) Following up my story from yesterday, Putin has freed another prisoner who’s time was well overdue.

6) “I’ll do everything I can to regain your trust…except resign

7) Well, that explains how those pictures of me ended up online…

8) Oh, Daily Caller…never change. Idiots.

9) Robots…it had to be robots…

10) Finally, for my friends who celebrate, please enjoy a monstrously great Christmas and I hope you can find peace in your day. For my friends who do not, enjoy the Peking duck!