Friday, July 18, 2014

Nobody Asked Me, But...

1) As conservative asswipes start beating the drum to retaliate against Russia for the downing of flight 17 over Ukraine – as seems to be the case – arming rebels and whatnot, I want to merely point out that no one ever declared war on the US for our own part in any number of insurgencies. Except some of the insurgents. The only nation who has much right to declare vendetta here seems to be the Netherlands, and today, we are all Dutch. (p.s. note how the Moscow Times covers a military action committed by their own factions.)

2) The whole world is a ball of confusion.

3) Madiba would have been 95 today.

4) Yea, there’s no global warming: Tropical diseases are hitting the US. Blowholes are popping up in Russia.

5) It’s been so easy to make fun of Florida, so we owe them a kudo for this.

6) Dude, you probably could have bought one at the gift shop

7) I could have answered this question in one sentence: It’s illegal, so who wouldn’t get paranoid, man?

8) Given the recent and tragic lionfish invasion of the Caribbean, this is a pretty important article.

9) Alzheimer’s? I see.

10) Finally, introducing “Cake in a Can”

Thursday, July 17, 2014

I Don't Often Link to Pierce

I like to keep that as my private stash, but this, this was too good not to share:

It's not just that TBOTP [ed. note: Tiger Beat On The Potomac also known as Politico.com] invited the Manson Family of American geopolitics to come together for an exercise in ensemble prevarication. It's not just that the account of said exercise is written in the kind of cacophonous cutesy-poo necessary to drown out the screams of the innocent dead, and to distract the assembled crowd from the blood that has dripped from the wallet of the celebrity war-criminal leading the public display. And it's not as though this was a mere interview—a "get" that could help you "win the morning (!)." In that, it might have been marginally excusable. No, this was one of Mike Allen's little grift-o-rama special events—a "Playbook lunch," sponsored by that noted mortgage fraud concern Bank Of America. There's an upcoming TBOTP "event" in L.A. that is sponsored by J.P. Morgan. I know what Mike Allen is, but I am so goddamn tired of haggling about the price. Here's how TBOTP's own account of the event begins.

If I could write like that, I could put away my shitty little blog and become world-famous, and have women dripping off me like rainwater in a monsoon.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

If You Had Told Me This Appeared on The Federalist Website....

…I would have laughed in your face. But it did:

Why abandon K-Street, and acknowledge, then reject, the Big Business perception of the GOP? They’ve had the Republican Party’s back for some time, right? In the past, the largest companies favored one party over the other because they understood a pro-capitalist, low-regulation government benefits them.

However, in recent years, especially since the 2007-2008 recession, many have turned to viewing government as a revenue source, a competition crusher, an error-eraser, and a partner in padding their bottom line. Their interest in cheap labor, bailouts, and selectively-favorable legislation has led to a flood of dollars into the Democrat Party, or into political action committees (PACs) that attempt to move Republican congressional votes away from their bases’ expectations, like the U.S. Chamber of Commerce’s push for amnesty. Meanwhile, a mix of bad deals and worse legislation left taxpayers and shareholders on the hook for trillions, millions lost their homes and jobs, and the senators and corporate heads responsible are laughing all the way to the bailed-out bank.

Christ, you’d almost have thought that I, a dyed-in-the-wool leftist, a Marxist of the Adam Smith school, wrote that and not Brandon Finnigan.

And it’s true. This corporatocracy that the United States has become, where corporate bribes have made it nearly impossible for the average citizen to exercise his freedom without being drowned out in a chorus of “Me too” from the corporations, a place distinctly unfriendly to human beings.

Take the last big bipartisan initiative: the TARP program and it’s immediate antecedents. Everybody jumped on board because “too big to fail.” And now, they’ve gotten even bigger and we’ve become even more diminished and the next big bubble is here, Right now. In front of our eyes. You want to know the glaring warning sign?

Corporate mergers.

Mergermania has forecast nearly every single economic downturn since, well, downturns began in America and certainly every one since the 1800s.You can trace the curves almost perfectly. After all, these are the business leaders who have their fingers on the pulse – and thumb on the scale – of the American economy.

In this instance, mergers aren’t happening because there’s a lot of spare money on the table (there is, but it’s not the primary reason). They are happening because Big Business knows that the tax haven that they’ve banked on for decades, even centuries – America – is about to go all pitchforks and tumbrels, and start soaking the rich.

And the rich aren’t Americans. They are Dollaricans. They will flee this nation in a heartbeat if we raise taxes even a fraction of a percent and this is evident from the wave of mergers overtaking the nation.

Of course, liberals and their progressive progeny have been all over Corporate America since long before Occupy Wall Street, long before the G8 Summit protests, long before the NAFTA. So welcome to the party, Finnigan! Pity you waited until it was too late.

Friday, July 11, 2014

Nobody Asked Me, But...

1) She singlehandedly stopped more killings in this spree by picking up the phone and calling the cops, not by firing a weapon. Tell me again how guns in the home make you safer?

2) Israel fires 1100 rockets into Gaza. The Palestinians and Lebanese fire 550 back. So how does the media cover this?

3) The IRS scandal rears its ugly head yet again. No, this is not a story from last winter. Congress ordered the IRS to investigate this new attempt at dodging taxes. Congress got the investigation it ordered. Congress was unhappy it was targeting their supporters because, guess what? The guy who they put in charge of the investigation knew where the crimes were being committed and so did his job!

4) The Polar Vortex is coming. No, this is not a story from last winter, either. Still don’t believe in global warming, Teabaggers?

5) Say, how do you think conservatives will feel about this story?

6) Not that Obama is going to care, mind you. He’s finally starting to chop wood.

7) Justice 1 Teabaggers 0

8) “Greetings, Professor Falken. Shall we play a game?”

9) OK, so we’ve had PEDs in baseball, football, weightlifting, even cycling…but walking?

10) Finally, another side effect of global warming? Kidney stones.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Meet the Next Florida

New York City

A new report released by research and news organization Climate Central predicts that by the year 2100 our usual 82 degree average summer weather will reach an average of around 91 degrees—the equivalent to an average July day spent in Lehigh Acres, Florida.

Of course, New York isn't the only city with a rising thermometer; Los Angeles and Miami temperatures could both see a jump of seven degrees, while northeastern Pennsylvania could see an increase as large as 11 degrees.

The report examines projected daytime summer temperatures for 1,001 cities across the United States, and matches them to other cities who already experience those projected temperatures today. Frighteningly, some city projections are too hot to match, and had to be linked to other parts of the world.

"In some cases, summers will warm so dramatically that their best comparison is to cities in the Middle East. Take Las Vegas, for example. Summer highs there are projected to average a scorching 111°F, which is what summer temperatures are like today in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. And at an average 114°F°, living in Phoenix will feel like summering in sweltering Kuwait City," the study states.

I suppose if there’s a bit of good news in there, it’s that Arizonans and Floridians and other redneck numbnuts will finally be forced to reckon with global warming. Only it will boil down to them wearing dishdashas and kaffiyahs, rather than doing something to stop it.

To be sure, NYC is an industrious city and we’re well on the road to preparation. Many office buildings already have air conditioning, many companies already have infrastructure in place to deal with telecommuting and keeping people and cars off the streets and of course, there’s the comprehensive public transit system.

The folks I feel for are the suburban commuters who will have to deal with Floridian temperatures while sitting in their cars in traffic. Anyone who’s sat on the LIE for an hour waiting for an accident to clear can only begin to imagine what that’s going to feel like.

Also, there’s no guarantee that anyone on Long Island or Miami will be able to drive anywhere, unless they own a submersible car. There’s that thought too…