Friday, May 13, 2011

Definitive Proof!


What The Hell Is Wrong With Wasilla?

Isn't it enough you inflicted Sarah Palin on the entire fuckign world, now you have to go around judging music made by gay men?
What's next? Going to ban books written by gays and lesbians? Burn furniture designed by them? Ban anyone who *knows* a gay? Crucify them?

The Funniest Thing You'll Read All Day

But be prepared for this story to take wing and you'll have it spat back to you all next year.
Note the section of the website it's posted in. Notice the byline is an amalgam of "Walter Winchell" and "H. L. Mencken". Now watch it become the joke that the right will regret.
UPDATE: That didn't take long, did it?

Nobody Asked Me, But...

1) Well, this possibly explains a lot about the abrupt separation in the Shriver/Schwarzenegger household. I figured their split had to do with infidelity, but seeing as Shriver is a Kennedy and has much experience with the degradations of Kennedy men, and Arnold has always had a wandering eye, I figured she just turned a blind eye to it. But bringing the herp home? Not cool.
2) Apparently, Ron Paul needs Cialis. (see what I did there?)
3) Shorter Mitt Romney: "Ignore the little man behidn the curtain!"
4) So the "cameras were on/cameras were off" meme has taken a new turn. Here's my take on the "controversy" over the assassination of Osama bin Laden: Can you tell me precisely what you saw every step on the way to your job or class this morning? No? Then shut up about it. Confused things happen in real life. Fictional stories have a clear narrative. Unless they're written by Newt Gingrich or Scooter Libby.
5) I don't know if you've followed the case of the kid banned from his senior prom after he posted a goofy message on the side of the school using cardboard sheets, but it's an interesting case of the letter of the law versus compassion and proportion. I tend to side with school officials: he took enormous risks of injury by taping the sheets to the school, not only to himself but to the people who helped him, as well as the poor janitor who had to take the stuff down. Any one of those people could have injured themselves on school property and then there'd be lawsuits and settlements and all kinds of stuff. Ban his ass, and he can sit in his car outside the prom and wait for his date.
7) Giving oil companies subsidies is a little like asking you to pay sales tax on your income tax.
8) Boy, that's a baggage carousel I would NOT want to be standing by...
9) OK, so it's Friday the Thirteenth. Four planets are in an unusual alignment. Nothing strange could POSSIBLY happen...

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Now This Is A Movement For Me!

I'm on the lime and salt platfor--
I'm sorry, what did you say?

Glenn Beck <3 Cancer


Change We Can Believe In

Since Obama wouldn't, sayyyyyyyyyyyyyy, dress in a uniform and land on an aircraft carrier to announce that a half-assed, one-third completed job was "Mission Accomplished", someone had to do it for him

When Your Message Is In Trouble

Simply point out that the other guy's message is in less trouble.

"I Have To Run For President"

Just as America made Newt Gingrich get divorced, twice, so are we making this poor man run for President.
I have an idea for his campaign slogan: "Newt Gingrinch: America's Bitch"
Just the kind of leader a nation needs.

Wait...So It's Not A Sleeping Persian????


Forward My Mail To Delaware!


If "Thug" Was A Reason Not To Invite Someone To The White House

Seriously, this guy is a rapper, an entertainer, and according to the right wing, should be discounted in any discussion of politics.
So why are they making a deal out of a speck on the political speck-trum?
Ta-Nehisi Coates says it better than I can.

The Difference Between Now And The 1960s

Imagine Dylan writing "Talkin' Teabaggin' Paranoid Blues" about a man who keeps cutting taxes for freedom until he's a prisoner in his own house.

Eating Their Own

I love it when Republicans and Teabaggers go head to head.
This is the NY 26th Congressional district in Erie (some would spell it Eerie) County.
The 26th is best known as the district represented by Chris ("Don't Call Me Christopher!") Lee of Craigslist fame, who resigned in disgrace, forcing a special election later this month.
A solidly Republican district, the Davis dustup threatens the coronation of Republican candidate Jane Corwin, who faces a split in the Teabagger vote between Davis and David Bellavia, who had been running under another Teabagger faction but indicated he would throw his support behind Davis, which would put a real crimp in Corwin's plans.
And leave the door open, a la the NY 23rd back in 2006 and now-Senator Kirstin Gillibrand, for a progressive candidate. Meet Democrat (and Working Families Party) candidate, Kathy Hochul.
Or Green Candidate, Ian Murphy, best known for punking and exposing Governor Scott Walker's close ties to the Koch brothers in the midst of his ultimately-successful attempts to destroy the middle class of Wisconsin. (Have to love a candidate who LOLcats his own campaign website!)
See? Eerie County! If it was a normal election cycle of a few months, I'd be torn between who to support, but since Murphy seems to be rather...umm...self-effacing in his style, I'm going to go with Hochul.
Go toss her a couple of bucks, and Ian? Run again in the next election, because damn, I'd love to endorse you.

I'm Not Sure, But....

...I think our President actually does get it.

"I think a lot of people just feel like the American dream, the core notion that if you work hard and you act responsibly that you can pass on a better life to your kids and your grandkids -- a lot of folks aren't feeling that anymore," he said. "And so, that's why it's so important for us to focus not only on recovery from recession, but also dealing with some of those problems that existed before the recession so that middle class families are able to see their incomes go up, their savings go up, they can retire with dignity and respect, they can send their kids to college."

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

A Public Service Message

Tomatoes are not in season yet, so if you're going to throw rotten fruit or vegetables, may I suggest kiwi?

Pitty Mitty

Poor Mitt Romney: he's being forced to deal with a problem that he probably never figured he'd have to: healthcare reform.
See, President Obama's national healthcare reforms are eerily similar to the same reforms that Romney passed in Massachussetts as governor. The same HCR measures that, um, Republicans have been claiming were shoved down the throats of Americans.
Romney got some 'splainin' to do.

His campaign today provided a brief outline of his health care approach, including:

• Restore to the states the responsibility and resources to care for their poor, uninsured, and chronically ill.
• Give a tax deduction to those who buy their own health insurance, just like those who buy it through their employers.
• Streamline the federal regulation of healthcare.
• Reduce the influence of lawsuits on medical practice and costs.
• Make healthcare more like a consumer market and less like a government program.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but that sounds like Romneycare on steriods. He's attacked the Obama plan as forcing a mandate on people to buy insurance, yet none of the above "nuances" that Romney will mention seem to really deal with this. Indeed, it sounds like the Frankenstein's monster of the old private system joined to the regulated government system, and therefore will be unwieldly and bloated, worse than Republicans charge the Obama plan is.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm, not winning many people over with this, Mitt. Better rewrite it.


This Really Is The Only Appropriate Medium For This Story

Donald Trump's biography: The Comic Book

The Lord Taketh...

Big government intrusions...

Sean Avery... Hero?

A really interesting dilemma is bubbling up on the New York sports scene right now, centered around one of the most controversial athletes to play here and creating a nexus between social issues confronting all of us and our desire for escape and entertainment.

The idea that Sean Avery has an unusual personality for a professional athlete is nothing new. Famous for once spending a summer as an intern at Vogue, infamous for the crude comments about ex-girlfriend Elisha Cuthbert that got him run out of Dallas and traded back to New York, the Rangers winger long has been known for being anything but the typical jock.

That image was further reinforced over the weekend when Avery became the first New York professional athlete to endorse same-sex marriage, releasing a video for the Human Rights Campaign's New Yorkers for Marriage Equality drive.

A little background on the athlete: Avery is anything but an Alan Alda type, in case the description of his comments about Elisha Cuthbert escaped you (they were more directed at her then-boyfriend, to be honest). He's what you would call an "instigator," a title I aspire to often enough. For example, he once elbowed a goaltender in the back of the head while the play was elsewhere.

Perhaps "cheap shot artist" is a better title.

Anyway, he's not the kind of guy you would figure to take the side of the weakling. And yet, he's come out (er, no pun intended) in the past in support of gay rights, mentioning how his stints in New York and LA saw him interacting with gay men and lesbians regularly.

And hello!? Interning at Vogue was not exactly the most macho thing a hockey player could do!

But I get it. A lot of my instigation in various places is about defending people who can't defend themselves easily. I understand nuance and explanations, where many people assume that if you have to explain, you've lost the debate.

I suspect there's a large measure of "stop bullying" here.

It's sad that there is not one openly active gay athlete playing in any of the major professional sports in North America.

I emphasize "openly," because we can be certain there are plenty who are either deeply in denial about their orientation or feel they have to hide in a closet. And damn, closets are not fun.

Imagine school-yard bullying on a grand scale from people who really can harm you. And those are just the fans!

Now toss on top a heaping spoonful of lost product endorsements and the ability to put a few extra bucks for the eventuality of a forced early retirement from the sport, and you have enormous pressure for an athlete to pretend to be something he or she is not.

My position on gay marriage is a simple one: yes. Gay men and lesbians should be allowed to marry each other. Period. The snark is that why should straights like me be the only miserable ones, but in truth, the issues run very deep. This world is a brutal nasty savage place, and only humans seem to have the capacity to make it even MORE brutal and savage, so wherever and whenever possible, we ought to find moments where we can help make it sublime.

There's little downside to same-sex marriage, and enormous upside for society. Even accepting the insane, outrageous and militant fundamentalist Christian position that God hates teh gheys, do you really care that they won't be getting into heaven for two reasons instead of one?

Meanwhile, couples can pay taxes and take vacations and openly be with each other. They can be happy. Or miserable. They can be human.

It makes you uncomfortable to see two men or two women holding hands or kissing?

Then you know how it feels for me to see a couple from some town in Pennsyltucky riding their Hovarounds down 42nd Street straining to lean over their enormous bellies to rub lips together to lick the last bit of barbecue sauce off. But I accept that as a gospel truth.

Dammit! I Have Game Tickets The Next Night!


Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Getting Under Your Skin


Pulling His Hair Out

Apparently, Donald Trump now pities Ross Perot

Growing A Set

Now, if they'd only come out and say they'll let the Bush tax cuts expire...

Mittsy Tp Put Foot In Mouth


I Miss All The Good Flights

I just get an extra bag of peanuts on my flight
(Go ahead...I left the fasatball out over the plate for ya...)

I Think I've Fallen In Love

It's like eating Oprah Winfrey

I Lead A Thrilling Life

I am not crazy.

Note To Self

Do not piss off the cat. Again.
Airlifted? Really????

Aw, For Fuck's Sake!

Is there anything GOOD about having a long ring finger????


An excuse for owning all those Dethklok albums!

Short Answer: NO!

Better it should be used to fund something that prevents another bin Laden from rising up. The victims' fund has long been established and is fully funded and no one seemed to have a real problem with how much money was ponied up.

If I Was A Paranoid...

...I'd say we found the reason Obama chose SEAL Team 6 and not the Army Rangers for the assassination of bin Laden...maybe two of them wanted to marry each other.
(PS to any SEALs reading this...just kidding! Really! There's no need to pull a Lloyd Bridges on me the next time I dive!)

So Long, Screwy! See You In St. Louie!


Teabaggers Please Note

This is NOT a terrorist conspiracy.

These Must Be Welfare Queens We Keep Hearing About

The cicada is rising after its thirteen year sleep

Jumping The CouchShark

Y'know, you'd think they'd get the hint already after thirty long years of playing the same annoying note on the kazoo: People don't mind paying taxes, so long as they are fair.
And yet, here's ol' Boener doubling down on the kludgy insanity:

In his remarks, the speaker expressed strong resistance to the effort by some Senate Democrats and President Obama for an alternative to enacting specific spending cuts as the price for increasing the debt limit: “triggers” that prompt automatic spending reductions and perhaps tax increases if Congress and the White House do not meet targets for lowering the deficit in coming years. That idea has emerged as providing the potential for compromise over the debt increase.

Mr. Boehner said the reductions should be “actual cuts and program reforms, not broad deficit or debt targets that punt the tough questions to the future. And with the exception of tax hikes — which will destroy jobs — everything is on the table.”

Must be a pretty tiny table if tax cuts can't even squeeze on top of everything else. I'm thinking like the hall table under the mirror where you toss your keys when the bank forecloses on you, and you move out, wife in tears, kids sobbing because they won't have a tree house in the new three-room apartment you're renting in that little complex over by the entrance to the Interstate.

You're going to raise taxes, Boener. You ought to get out front of this issue so we can have a real dialogue about the future of this great nation and how we can all pitch in and help.

All of us. Not just the bottom 95% but people like me, and you and your crony Koch brothers and all the billionaires who have butt-fucked the American people for far too long.  


Under The Weather

This has all been brewing pretty much under your radar, but it's about to explode across the Web, courtesy of the testy diaper-challenged right wing:

RICHMOND, Va., May 10 (Reuters) - Lawyers for President Barack Obama go to court on Tuesday to try to save the cornerstone of his healthcare overhaul, arguing that the requirement for Americans to buy insurance is constitutional.

A three-judge panel of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fourth Circuit will consider whether a lower court was correct in striking down the requirement. But they will not be the final arbiter in a fight that is expected to reach the Supreme Court.

Legal scholars see the case as pivotal because it is the first to have oral arguments before an appeals courts. That means its ruling could affect other courts and become the first challenge to the law to reach the high court.

The healthcare law, which requires Americans to buy insurance by 2014 or pay a penalty, was a major victory for Obama, one that Republicans are working to undo in the courts, statehouses and Congress.

A momentary digression, if you will allow me. I would really love for an administration spokesperson to get out in front of this story and start telling us precisely what good has come of healthcare enactment. I mean, we all know the wonkies on this: everyone will be covered, all children are covered, the age that a child can be carried has been raised already, no pre-existing condition qualifications, that sort of thing. What I want to see is someone in authority (Secretary Sebelius would be fine) give us anecdotes to work with.

But I digress...

What's really going to burn the right-wing's bowels is the fact that Obama, through the luck of the draw, stacked the appellate panel:

RICHMOND, Va. — Two appointees of President Barack Obama have been selected for the three-judge federal appeals court panel reviewing his health care overhaul in Virginia.

Judges Andre Davis and James Wynn were randomly selected for the 4th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals panel.

Now, you and I understand what random means: it means "by chance". But remember, we're talking about people who wouldn't accept the statements of duly elected government officials that a birth certificate that was good enough for the government to issue the ultimate document of citizenship, a passport, wasn't good enough to establish that the president was truly a fellow American.

So this ought to be a good week for fans of pussilanimous pules.

It gets better. The third judge on that panel was appointed by Bill Clinton, who also tried to enact healthcare reform.

If the earth stops spinning, it's likely because of the critical mass of lazy overweight Teabaggers swirling in the opposite direciton in their Hovarounds...



Monday, May 09, 2011

Oh boy...

...someone's tit is going to get caught in the wringer over this.

The Right Man At The Right Time

A lot is said from both sides of the political aisle about President Obama's policy-making, some of which is pretty unfair. As the bin Laden incident proves, Obama tends to move cautiously until he no longer has to, and then he can be very decisive.
I don't want to make it seem that I agree with all of his decisions, or that his timing is impeccable. Nor do I think he's done all that he can to alleviate many of the problems that face America right now. Too many people are still un- and underemployed, too many people are in dire risk of losing their homes and too many people face catastrophic illness that could and should have been covered already. The nation itself is teetering at the precipice.
Meanwhile, corporations are still making record profits and banksters walked away from the bailout trough with hefty personal bank balances. Even making the generous allowance that most of these crises were created under the former administration, Obama's been President for two years now. Progress has been glacial at best. But I do want to raise an observation.
An overview of American history reveals a pretty stunning insight: somehow, Americans in times of crises, even minor ones, hire the President they need with fair regularity. I think Obama's election was no fluke, but reflects a dynamic that has played out through history: An administration (usually Republican *ahem*) fouls the waters, and the next guy has to come in and clear the mess (usually, a Democrat).
As a liberal, I have to say I'm getting a little tired of cleaning conservative messes, but I digress...
We elect men (sadly, only men so far) who manage to juggle the tricky balls of competence, charisma, and consensus. FDR walked us through World War II and a Great Depression mangled horribly by the Hoover administration. Lincoln took on the challenge of a Civil War and not only won it, but set the tone for the Reconstruction. As far back as George Washington himself, the nation has a pretty good track record of finding someone who is up to a monumental task.
It's when we aren't faced with a major crisis that we screw up, badly (*koffkoffWkoffkoff*).
For me, the irony is that those challenges are precisely when you'd least expect a leader to want the job. Who would want to take on the economy as it unfolded during the 2008 campaign? Would anyone have blamed either Obama or McCain for throwing the election? After all, the underlying nasty truth of our nation is, at heart, a large number of us are a bunch of greedy chickens.
Yea, I'm looking at you, "tax cut and spenders." The corollary of that truth is, those same people are the first to criticize the guy who does roll up his sleeve and get to work on a problem.
I think, at the end of the day, the collective wisdom of Americans comes through. We can ignore the siren call of "mo' money" and embrace a man who simply wants to work hard to make the nation better. But really, we'll do that kicking and screaming.