Nobody Asked Me, But...

1) I know I've said this before, but in the words of the immortal Bullwinkle J. Moose, "This time for sure!": Rick Santorum will abandon his campaign over the weekend, after Louisiana polls badly for him. He's at an interesting crossroads: he has set up the bones of a campaign structure for 2016, but he will have no public venue from which to self-promote (unless FOX News comes calling, something I doubt.)

 

Louisiana's convulted rules are only awarding 20 of 46 possible delegates tomorrow, and those will be divvied up only amongst those who poll better than 25% of the vote. Should Santorum (who is the only candidate above that number right now) slip out of the delegate grab or if Romney outpolls him, I think it's ballgame over.

 

2) Example 1 of the 1% behaving badly.

 

3) And lest you think income inequality and vulture capitalists only exist in the commercial world, example 2 of the 1% behaving badly.

 

4) You remember a couple of weeks ago how Muslim groups across the New York metropolitan area were up in arms about New York City police infiltration and espionage? Well, sit down, white Americans. They targeted us too. I thought that dog hanging around my garden looked suspicious.

 

5) Tim Tebow, the evangelical football quarterback, is coming to play for the NY Jets. This will likely go down as the least-likely fit since, well, Kim Kardashian's marriage. My prediction: by the end of the season, Tebow will be caught in the back of a cab with a naked hooker and a bag of blow.

 

6) Speaking of unlikely travelers, the Pope is headed to Mexico and Cuba this weekend. Poor Rick Santorum must be running around in circles trying to catch his tail.

 

7) Poor Mickey Mou-- I mean, Bachmann. She owes ONE. MILLION. DOLLARS. in campaign debt. I guess she could auction off some of her kids. I mean, she has like two dozen. No one would miss the blond girls.

 

8) Ironically, it's ideas like this that have me running out to get my gun permit. It ends up becoming one huge game of chicken, don't you think?

 

9) Say what you will about the political implications of Romney campaign's biggest gaffe of the week, it's nice to see the Etch-a-Sketch get some prime time lovin'.

 

10) It melts in your mouth, and not in your lungs!

Side Effects Include Possible Baldness

 

Science may have cured male pattern baldness.

 

This is good news for...well, me, basically.

Seriously. What Part of "Insubordination" Is Unclear To This Douchebag?

 

I mean, come on...it's right in the fucking policy manual!

Marine Sergeant Gary Stein is facing dismissal after starting the Facebook page called “Armed Forces Tea Party” in violation of Pentagon policy barring troops from political activities.

The Marine Corps released a statement saying that “Stein’s commanding officer ordered a preliminary inquiry on March 8 after receiving allegations that Stein posted the political statements violating the Pentagon’s directives.”

“After reviewing the findings of the preliminary inquiry, the commander decided to address the allegations through administrative action,” the Corps said.

“I’m completely shocked that this is happening,” Stein fumed. “I’ve done nothing wrong. I’ve only stated what our oath states that I will defend the constitution and that I will not follow unlawful orders. If that’s a crime, what is America coming to?”

Really? The orders of your Commander In Chief are illegal? Well, I know I can't wait to hear this asshat out...

He said he determined he was not in violation and relaunched the page. Last week, he said his superiors told him he could not use social media sites on government computers after he posted the message stating he would not follow unlawful orders of the president.

Stein said his statement was part of an online debate about NATO allowing U.S. troops to be tried for the Quran burnings in Afghanistan.

In that context, he said, he was stating that he would not follow orders from the president if those orders included detaining U.S. citizens, disarming them or doing anything else that he believes would violate their constitutional rights.

In. That. Context? You mean you're like the cop who, say, won't arrest a vigilante who murders an innocent American, because it might hurt his fee-fees? A CRIME WAS COMMITTED, YOU DICK! A war crime, and if there's a first principle for ANY soldier, it's to prevent war crimes from occuring and if they've already occured, to correct the problem as best as that soldier can.

Including narcing on his buddies. Sheesh!

Indeed, to follow up on your statement,"Sergeant," there's a long established legal principle that says if you aid and abet in the commission of a crime after the fact, you are deemed an accessory to that crime and subject to criminal prosecution. In other words, America is coming to a criminal state because of goose-stepping morons like you who can't stand the fact that Obama is President.

 

 

Champagne Supernova

 

How do they work?

Friend! Did Your Civilization Collapse?

 

No problem!

Why I Like My Gym

 

The women there are hot.

 

And I don't mean they look sexy.

Cue The Violins

 

Mitt Romney, to no one's great surprise, beat Rick Santorum in Illinois like a rented mule.

 

Keep in mind, tho, that voter turnout in the primary was the worst Illinois has seen since the 1940s.

 

I wondered about Obama's vote totals as compared to Romney's, without checking whether in fact there was a Democratic primary.

 

There was not. Delegates will be chosen at the party convention later this Spring.

Having Solved All The World's Other Problems...

 

The LA Times editorial staff turns its attention to the most pressing issue of the day: Do test tube babies need to be naturalized?

Sugar Sues Corn

 

No. I mean it.

Justice For Trayvon

There are mornings I wake up, look at the calendar and wonder if it's on some weird galatic Daylight Savings Time. This shouldn't happen in the 21st century:

It's been 25 days since [Trayvon] Martin was shot and killed inside a gated community. The admitted gunman is still free. And despite two ongoing investigations by the Justice Department and state attorney, outrage within this community continues to grow daily.

So many people wanted to attend a gathering inside a church in Sanford that hundreds were forced to express their frustration outside, on the street. One shouted, "That was murder." In the church, repeated chants of "Arrest Zimmerman" could be heard.

It's all part of the continuing controversy over Martin's death - and on Tuesday it reached Capitol Hill.

"I am tired of burying young black boys," declared Congresswoman Frederica Wilson, who represents the district where Martin lived. "No more racial profiling," she continued. "I'm tired of fighting when the evidence is so clear."

That evidence wasn't enough for local police to arrest Zimmerman, who cited self-defense.

There are a lot of questions I have before I assess whether Zimmerman is guilty of murder or not, but the facts indicate he has some very serious tribulations confronting him.

For instance, if the claim is self-defense, as I understand it under Florida's "Stand Your Ground" law, then how does it apply to a case where the "victim" stalks his "attacker" onto someone else's private property? I can understand if Zimmerman stood his original ground, and Martin turns, where Zimmerman might have a case to make that he was in danger. But that's not what happened.

Why was Zimmerman carrying a concealed weapon on a neighborhood watch, when the first and foremost duty of the watch patrol is to notify the police, who will handle the matter from there? I know he had abused that privilege some 46 times over the last year or so, and it was unlikely the cops were going to rush to the scene, but isn't that Zimmerman's fault for being such a pantywaisted Chicken Little?

And on that note, how many of his previous calls resulted in actual arrests for attempted crimes, even misdemeanors? Of those, how many were dark-skinned males?

We know here in NYC, for example, that a black or Latino is nine times more likely to be stopped and frisked than a white person: part of that is because blacks and Latinos tend to live in poorer neighborhoods with higher crime rates, but in reality, there's racial profiling going on as well. And we also know that an even higher percentage of those stopped and frisked are exonerated, either at the scene or by the courts later.

I would like to know if, in a more conservative, gated community, the percentages range closer to 100%, particularly with respect to the neighborhood patrol activities.

The 911 phone calls have been released and they don't really add much to the story, a case of "he said, he said," except that one of the hes is now dead. However, Martin was speaking to his girlfriend at the moment Zimmerman and he encountered each other, and her story-- admittedly hearsay evidence-- would refute Zimmerman's defense that he was headed back to his car when Martin attacked. 

Why did Zimmerman continue to pursue Martin when the police dispatcher pointedly told him not to? I think that question is answered in Zimmerman's background: a failed attempt at becoming a police officer and his pretty clear fixation with being a LEO (he proposed and was the first volunteer for the neighborhood watch.)

There's an irony here, too: Zimmerman was arrested for fighting with an undercover cop, but his record was expunged before the case went to trial when he agreed to attend what appear to be anger management classes. Had his case gone to trial, had justice been served, Zimmerman would have been ineligible for a carry permit.

And Trayvon Martin would have finished his Skittles.  

 

Analysis Of A Flop

(For the record, I've not seen the movie yet)

 

OK, so Disney is desperately searching for a film genre to mine for a blockbuster. They've beaten their own folio to death, probably killing it for good with the abominable "Sorcerer's Apprentice".

 

Groping about, someone comes up with the bright idea of taking the Edgar Rice Burroughs' Barsoom series and putting it on film. Hey, the books are only a hundred years old!

 

A series of books so bad, it wasn't even Burroughs' primary money maker. A series of books so bad that, the previous film made from them went straight to DVD just three years ago AND starred a porn actress. A book written about a 19th Century Southerner. A series of books that haven't been popular since, I don't know...my dad read them forty years ago?

 

Yes, clearly the teens will eat this one up!

 

Now, does Disney do much advance marketing? Perhaps pushing the books ahead of production (a cheap and easy way to gauge whether its worth making the film)? Nope.

 

Do they go out and hire a stellar cast of character actors to surround a relatively unknown actor in support of his performance and to take some of the burden off the special effects ported pretty much directly from "Star Wars II"? Nope.

 

Do they even hire an experienced director, someone who's made just one successful live-action film, like Michael Bay or, well, anyone? Nope. They hire an animation director.

 

So they make a crappy film (remember, I'm basing it on the 51% rating at Rotten Tomatoes, not personal experience) about an antiquated series of books based on a anachronistic character by using a subprime director and cast...and what happens?

 

They probably drive Disney into bankruptcy.

Sabre Rattling For The Week of March 19, 2012

Nobody in their right mind would believe this twaddle, except maybe Bloomberg's Jeffrey Goldberg, the same asshat who wrote in 2002 that Saddam Hussein "will have [nukes] soon."

 

The sky is high and bright and clear over my head, Jeff. Sounds like it might be falling in over yours.

The Shouting Is Almost Over, Too

So how bad is it for the eventual Republican nominee?

 

Well, first, on Super Tuesday, receiving more votes than any Republican that day was President Obama, who ran unopposed.

 

You read that right.

 

It seems likely, particularly given his favorite son status in Illinois, that Obama will outpoll the Republicans on a combined basis today.

 

Worse news for the putative nominee, Mitt Romney, Obama now outpolls him by 8 percent in the erstwhile battleground state of Virginia. Romney won Virginia an overwhelming majority, with 60% of the vote, against a field that did not include either Rick Santorum or Newt Gingrich, both of whom blundered in filing for the primary.

 

And once more, Romney finds himself in a "must-win" situation, although if you think about it, he already has won and it's pretty silly to entertain notions beyond that: his closest rival, Santorum, filed late enough and sloppily enough that he's been penalized ten delegates that he cannot win.

 

Still, much of the elective process is a matter of perception and if Romney can't pull off a big win today-- he has a 14% lead in this very convuluted primary process, which is a two-stage vote: one for the candidate in a "beauty pageant," the other directly for the delegates who represent the candidates. Nothing like confusing the old white folks if you want suspense-- it will only add to the perception that Romney lacks the instincts to deliver the killer blow, something that is evident in his flip-flopping on issues.

 

No, really, think about it: a man who wants to be all things to all people, a necessary concern for a candidate from a party as fractured and contentitious as the GOP, won't have the stones to do what he thinks is right. And while it may be unfair to characterize this as Romney's problem when in truth it's a problem the party faces, Romney is the presumptive face of the party, and when nominated, he becomes the head of that party until he gets mashed into the ground in November.

 

It's weird to think of the Republican party as the messy one, but there it is. Usually, it's Democrats who are fractious and contentious and all over each other like ants in a war with other ants, and the GOP the party of jack-booted unity, but that dynamic seems to be reversed this cycle. Republicans have at least three identifiable factions, none of which agrees completely with the other two, and all three are scrambling to get a piece of the party.

 

Meanwhile, Democrats are the party with the luxury of not only having an orderly process, but have time and resources to spare to muck up the other guys' fun.

 

It literally took the Democrats twelve years to overcome their self-imposed foot-shooting (from the 1980 primaries of Carter and Kennedy to the eked win of Bill Clinton in 1992), and the Republicans haven't even gotten to the starting gate of theirs.

 

Again proving my theory that the GOP runs about 30 years behind the Democrats in evolution.