From the Writers of The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
EARTH: HOT OR NOT?
Arctic sea ice has shrunk 30% since 1978, and could disappear
altogether within a hundred years. NASA scientist Dr. Waleed Abdalati explains,
"The most recent estimates suggest that the last time we had an
ice-free arctic was millions of years ago." So when it comes to the skills
you'll need in the future, add "a decent breast stroke."
In the short term, this could actually be good news for fish lovers,
since the warmer arctic waters may wind up increasing the populations of
cod near the North Pole. And, as an added bonus, at the rate the planet
is going, if you like your cod boiled... well, pretty soon, you'll be
in for a real treat.
The warmer temperatures are, however, bad for polar bears, who may find
their habitats threatened. And the rising waters have already proved a
disaster in Santa's Workshop. Sadly, he chose to build in a coastal
area of the North Pole and to hire workers who were only two feet high.
This, by the way, is the most important report to come out of the
national snow and ice data center since their watershed 1978 report, "Don't
Eat the Yellow Snow."