Porn Actresses Can Be Funny

Here's a great back-and-forth (or in-and-out as the case may be) on one of those Nigerian bank scam deal.

No, this isn't really "Tiffany Minx", it's some guy pretending to be her. It's quite the ironic little twist on the "something for nothing" aspect of the Nigerian scam, and you gotta love this:

From Peter Aka to Tiffany Mynx (Original Email) 11/1
From the office of: Dr.Peter Aka(C.B.N)
Private EMAIL :(cbn_updatektt@post.com)
Personal Number:234 80 33007631.

ATTN:BENEFICIARY CONTRACTOR :

NOTE: THE INFORMATION IN THIS MESSAGE AND IN ANY ATTACHMENTS, CONTAINS CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION AND IS INTENDED SOLELY FOR THE ATTENTION AND USE OF THE NAMED ADDRESSEE (S). IT MUST NOT BE DISCLOSED TO ANY PERSON(S) WITHOUT AUTHORIZATION. IF YOU ARE NOT THE INTENDED RECIPIENT, OR A PERSON RESPONSIBLE FOR DELIVERING IT TO THE INTENDED RECIPIENT, YOU ARE NOT AUTHORIZED TO AND MUST NOT, DISCLOSE, COPY,DISTRIBUTE, OR RETAIN THIS MESSAGE OR ANY PART OF IT.

RE: UNPAID CONTRACT SUM

After waiting to hear from you or your Nigeria partners for a long time now, I decided to make this direct approach to you in other not to let it be as if I have anything in mind against you. I do not know if you have asked yourself why each time the release of these fund is approved, all of a sudden, the payment will be stopped or one problem or the other will come up. If you have not asked this question or you do not know, this is an opportunity for me to tell you.

Some time ago, your Nigerian friend I mean the people that introduced you to the project approached me through my dear Wife who works with the federal Ministry of Finance and requested me to assist them conclude a money transfer deal they had with you, they requested me to assist them by removing the original contractors name, companys name and bank particulars from Central bank of Nigeria (CBN) vetting computer and replacing them with your name and your bank details in order to make you appear as the rightful beneficiary of this funds. I agreed on condition that they will pay me $100,000 as soon as your name appears as the beneficiary.I did as agreed and demanded to be paid but your friends started telling me stories. They even told me that you promise to send money to me. Do you know that up till now, I have not received a single cent from them and have not set my eyes on any of them.

Based on their attitude, I decided to stop the funds release movement because I cannot be denied of my right in my own office considering the risk as it might affect my job. Secondly, I know the source of the funds and you did not execute any contract in
Nigeria, although I am the only person privileged to know this information and it is a fact. Why I am making this clear to you is that I can see that you are still making efforts spending money in order to conclude this project. Now I am ready to forget the past, I do not need the $100,000 any longer from you but a share of 25% of the total sum. I need your assurance that those your colleagues will be totally keep out of this transaction, I know that none of them is aware of this transaction after trying their best to conclude it without my consent.

Finally, I need your promise that no official of the
Central bank of Nigeria will be aware of my involvement in this regard. Now re-assure me that you will be willing to offer me the 25% of the fund, that you will assist my wife and personal assistant to establish a foreign account in your country where my share will be lodged.

If you are ready to conclude this business with me, you can contact me immediately on (EMAIL:(cbn_updatektt@post.com).

so that we can have chat over this issue once and for all so that we can move forward. But if the reverse is the case, do not bother yourself to reach me.

Regards, DR. Peter Aka
DIRECTOR (K.T.T UNIT) C.B.N.

From Tiffany Mynx to Peter Aka (11/4)

Hello Peter Aka,

I received your email but I think it was a mistake. My name is Tiffany and I live in California. Sorry if this was not for me but if there is some way I can help you, let me know.

XOXO

Tiffany Mynx

From Peter Aka to Tiffany Mynx (Nov. 8)

Dear Tiffany Minx,

Thanks very much for your kind message,and on your acceptance to assist in this transaction.As you have seen through my message where i work,such a sensitive possition in the Apex Bank of the federation.

Yes we can work together and you can be of an assistance to us.But first let me have your private mobile phone and fax numbers to enhance our communication.

Here is my direct phone number 234 1 7754554.or 234 8037218281.please call me immediately as soon as you received this mail for us to finalize, also please your Bank particulars will be highly needed to enable us secure fresh approval on behalf of your name.

Expecting your urgent response.

Best Regards.

Dr Peter Aka.

From Tiffany Mynx to Peter Aka (11/8)

Dear Peter Aka,

Thank you for the message. The best way to reach me is through email as I am on the road all the time. I work in the adult entertainment industry. I log on all the time from my laptop so don?t hesitate to write. You can trust me with this transaction as I am a woman of high morals.

XOXO

Tiffany Mynx

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE: Adult Entertainment Industry & high morals, see the irony? He won't.
From Peter Aka to Tiffany Mynx (Nov. 12)
DEAR MR TIFFANY MINX,

THANKS YOUR MESSAGE.I AM HONESTLY SORRY FOR THE DELAY IN REPLYING YOUR MESSAGE.I WAS OUT OF STATION ON OFFICIAL ENGAGEMENT.I AM HAPPY TO HEAR THAT YOU ARE PRIVATE PERSON,SAME LIKE ME. BECAUSE OF MY POSITION THAT I'M PRESENTLY OCCUPLYING. FURTHER EXPLANATION/ADDITIONAL INFORMATION YOU MAY WISH TO KNOW ARE.I AM PETER AKA,I WORK WITH KTT/TELEX DEPT OF THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA.I ALSO HEAD THE TREASURY SECTION.IAM FROM THE NORTHERN PART OF THE COUNTRY THAT IS HIGHLY DOMINATED BY MOSLEMS,BUT IT HAPPENS THAT I COME A CHRISTIAN HOME IN JOS PLATEUE
STATE.THIS IS MY 12YEARS OF SERVICE WITH THE APEX BANK.

I AM MARRIED WITH THREE CHILDREN,MY FIRST SON IS IN THE UNIVERSITY OF LAGOS,MY SECOND SON IS ABOUT TO ENTER AND MY DAUGTHER IS STILL IN COLLEGE.IAM 45 YEARS OF AGE.I WILL SEND YOU MY PICTURE AS WE PROGRESS.

NOW TO THE TRANSACTION,THIS MONEY IS $25.6MILLION THAT ME AND MY COLLEAGUES WORKING WITH ME DISCOVERED THAT WAS FLOATING IN THE BANK,WE STARTED ON THE ARRANGEMENT TO MOVE THE MONEY OUT OF THE COUNTRY,WHICH HAVE PERFECTED.WE WANT YOU NOW TO RECIEVE THE MONEY ON OUR BEHALF AND HELP US INVEST IT INTO ANY PROFITABLE BUSINESS THAT YOU MAY DEEM FIT.WE PLAN MOVING THE
MONEY OUT IN CASH THROUGH DIPLOMATIC CHANNEL TO ONE OF THESE AFRICAN COUNTRIES,FROM THERE YOU CAN OPEN A DOMICILLARY ACCOUNT AND THEN TRANSFER TO YOUR BANK ACC,ANY WHERE YOU WISH.WE WILL ALSO SIGN AN AGGREEMENT WITH YOU.

I WILL GIVE DETAILS,YOU MAY WISH TO KNOW WHEN I GET YOUR MESSAGE.

THANK YOU ,

DR PETER AKA.

THANK

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE: If he responds to this next email, we know we are dealing with a card carrying idiot.

From Tiffany Mynx to Peter Aka (11/13)

Wow, that certainly is a mouthful. No pun intended. Well, I guess I should tell you a little about me.

Date of Birth: 10/10/1971
Given name: Shannon Cummings (Tiffany Mynx/Minx is my stage/acting name but that's what I prefer to be called)
Birth place: Upland, California, USA
Height: 5 ft. 3 in.
Measurements: 34D-23-36
Hobbies: Fishing
Marital status: Divorced; two sons

I mainly dance now instead of making movies. I'm not a real religious person.

Let me tell you how I got to where I am today. I was doing okay as a stripper but there was so much competition. Until one day one of my driver/bodyguards called and to tell me that he worked on movie sets part time. He went on to tell me that my girlfriend and I should stop by the studio because they needed a couple of extra girls and I could make some good money. I said, "sure." So there I was, in a room full of girls. There was a door in the room that would open, and they would call us in one at a time. When it was my turn, I was walked into a room with a man sitting behind a desk. He asked me to take off my clothes. He told me he liked me and wanted me for the job. Now he mentions to me that he wants me to do two sex scenes. I couldn't believe it, I didn't know what to do or what I should do. Well, you guessed it. I did the job and they called me back again the next week for another gig. My first movie was, "The D.J." and the second picture was called, "The Good the Bad and the Horny." Both movies were shot for V.C.A.. I worked with Tony Tedeshi both times and we became friends. He asked me what agency I worked for, and I couldn't answer because I had no idea there were agencies in the adult film industry. He took me to my first agency and it was there that I meet all sorts of important directors, producers, and other people. Suddenly I was working all the time and I felt really good about myself. I felt alive, beautiful energetic and sexy. It was the first time in my life I had good money, a job and some self-respect. Do you know what I mean? Since then I've starred in over 1000 movies. Anyway, what was it like growing up Christian in a Muslim area? I've always wanted to go to Nigeria to see the Eiffel Tower and all those crazy kangaroos that are always up to their zany tricks. I hear the French can be really rude. Do you snow Ski?

You said your son goes to THE UNIVERSITY OF LAGOS. Do they have a football team? What are they ranked in the BCS? Is it a party school? I think Van Wilder went the THE UNIVERSITY OF LAGOS. Are your other two children going there? Or will they go to Stanford, Harvard, or Brigham Young University? Maybe they could go to ass-clown school or something. Don't mind me, I'm a nosey person. I've attached a recent photo of me at a wet t-shirt contest that I won at Flash Dancers.

Talk to you soon,

Tiffany Minx



EBOLA MONKEY NOTE: Not only did he respond, he put it in italics. Tiffany's picture must have knocked him sideways.

From Peter Aka to Tiffany Mynx (Nov. 14)

Dear Tiffany M,

Thanks very much for your mail that explained little about yourself. Iam very happy to know little about yourself. Shannon i must confess that you are such a pretty and sexy looking woman that know man would like to miss. I like you for been open to me and i quite appreciate it.

Now let me tell you something about this transaction that i would like you to take serious.we have perfected every arrangement for sucessful conclution of this transaction,no risk involved. All has been taken care off.we have agreed with colleagues to invest this money into film production possibily to build a big STUDIO for you to manage on our behalf untill we resign from our positions.we will compensate with 15% of the total amount,for all the committement, like travelling to the agreed venue and every other expenses that you will make.

pls let know serious you are to do this transaction with us.let me have your private telephone numbers to enhance our communication.my phone is 234 80 3721 82 81, pls i will you to call me. I will let you have my picture on next mail to you.
pls keep this transaction secret.

urgently expecting your reply.
DR PETER AKA.

From Peter Aka to Tiffany Mynx (Nov. 16)

DEAREST SHANNON,

I HOPE GOT MY MAIL OF 14TH ? PLS I AM ANXIOUSLY WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU. I BELIEVE YOU HAVE BEEN VERY BUSY. EVERYTHING IS READY. EXPECTING TO KNOW YOUR POSITION.

REGARDS TO YOUR SONS.

PETER AKA.

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE: Lets see if I can freak him out.

From Tiffany Mynx to Peter Aka (11/18)

Dear Peter AKA,

Thank you for your beautiful responses. Sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I was on location filming a movie. It is to be called "All Holes Filled (The K-Y Connection). It will feature a lot of DP's, facials, farts and dwarfs. It was a blast. I have another film that I will be shooting this week called "Black Cock, White HO HO HO." Obviously, we are aiming for a holiday theme. Should be buckets of fun.

I read your email and I have no idea what you are talking about. Remember, I'm a BLONDE. What traveling venue are you talking about?

I hope to talk to you soon. Oh, one more question. You always sign your name Peter AKA. I assume the AKA means Also Known As. What are you also know as? I figure it's something like Peter AKA Big Willie Style or something. Please let me know because my curiosity has gotten the best of me.

To Infinity and Beyond,

Tiffany M.

PS - Are you really a doctor? If so, can you tell me what the best medicine is for Wynonaryder Syndrome.

EBOLA MONKEY NOTE: Nope, no freaking him out. After the last two emails, I knew I could say anything.

From Peter Aka to Tiffany Mynx (Nov. 18)

Dear Tiffany M
Thanks for your mail .It is well understood. I know you are very busy person,but please i want to appeal to you attention on this transaction. It is all about money that we want invest through you,the arrangement to move the funds have been concluded, we are waiting to get a good response from you. We are saying that there will be need for us to meet in country with much financial restriction,so that we can sign some agreement with you and hand over the money for purpose.

Iam not a medical doctor i do not know the medicine for that.

Pls take this transaction seriously. you can call me on my private # 234 80 3721 8281 for further discusion on this matter.
Expecting to hear from you soon.

My regards to the boys.
DR Peter Aka.

It goes on for quite a while longer. Suffice it to say that Peter promises "Tiffany" a big time movie contract and a trip to Ghana to film a movie with an African actor named "Sex Machine", meanwhile poor Peter Aka is thinking he's going to get some from a blonde American porn star AND get his hundreds of thousands of dollars! Alas, poor "Tiff" has been hung up by the Amsterdam Secret Service (A.S.S.)...and the pictures get more and more descriptive...