Thursday, June 01, 2006

Why Republicans Are Bawling....

I want you to think of rank and file Republicans this way: you're a housewife, and you've just found out that your husband's been banging your best friend. Again. For the fortieth time, despite the fact that you've done your level best to ignore it, deny it, and "miss" the harshest reality.

But see, this time, they were fucking in your bed. You know the one you just changed the sheets on this morning?

Republicans have held Congress for twelve years. They've held the Presidency for six (you could even say twelve years, since they cuffed Clinton's hands)

The best they can show for it is one quarter of real economic growth.


No grand military victory. No defeating Osama bin Laden. No subjugating China or Korea or Iran.

No lasting legacy. No overturned Roe v. Wade (altho that's still on the burner).

No candy and flowers as they stroll down Pennsylvania Avenue ahead of an admiring throng of former Democrats singing Hosanna. No weeping soccer moms, grateful at how they stopped the education system from falling apart.

One three-month period of growth. And even that comes as signs that the economy is about to tank (again!) are popping up all over.

Better stock up on Kleenex, if you have any Republicans you care about.

Which of course, means the question must be asked: WHY?!?!?!?