Friday, July 31, 2009

Nobody Asked Me, But...

1) You can almost hear the conservatives chuckling to themselves "Heh, Indeed". So let me get this straight, asshole: a program that was funded for three months runs out of money in just a week (a program that conservatives basically went nuts over), attesting to the wild popularity of the program, and you folks somehow think this is a failure? I think it's a testament to the fact that, deep down, Americans want to do better: they want better cars, they want to be environmentally responsible, and they want to help the economy.

They get it, you don't. Now shut up.
Of course, conservatives made up shit about what beers were drunk. Not so much, however. Turns out, only the Presidents had an imported beer, a Bud Light (now owned by a Belgian company). Biden had a non-alcoholic Buckler (by Heineken...designated driver?), Crowley a Blue Moon (division of Adolph Coors (BEEGSHMILE!) company, but believe it or not, also an import now), and Gates had a Boston-based Sam Adams, the only American light beer to be awarded a gold medal at a German beer competition that had no light beer category. And of course, the only frikkin' American beer served at the summit!
But let's face facts: non-alcoholic American beers are piss-poor quality, and Bud is so American it would be hard to ignore the company.
Conservatives point to the "cash for clunkers" program and mock Congressional reform of healthcare. I'm not getting this. Has there suddenly been an uprising of senior citizens outraged over the massive bureaucracy and governmental interference in Medicare?
4) Conservatives have mocked the rise in unemployment as the only economic news that counts. It's not. unemployment lags the economy by about six to eight months. Blame Bush.
5) "We promise to try not to kill people" Maybe the neo-cons should have taken the same oath.
7) Apparently, Google is NOT omniscient.
8) There's a trope among conservatives with regards to allowing people to sell their organs (this came up in light of Steve Jobs recent liver transplant). This is why it is a bad idea.