Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Douchebags In The News

Well, let's just say there's a lot of anger out there today, and leave it at that as way of introduction:
 
1) Gen'l Stanley McChrystal -- Apparently, his major complaint against Obama specifically was that he seemed inadequate to the task at hand in Afghanistan the first time he and the general met. Now, that's a bit off-putting, to say the least. A President has been fully briefed by the outgoing adminstration on all hot topics, he's met with the Joint Chiefs by then as well, I'm sure. You'd think he'd have a handle on things, unless you believe that there's some sort of conspiracy among the more strident radicals in the outgoing administration to prevent him from being fully informed. He did bring Gates back on board, so this is an unlikely scenario. Which leaves only one possible answer.
 
The magnitude of the situation was inconceivable to anyone, and I mean anyone. General Eisenhower could have walked into that meeting and walked out looking like a deer caught in the headlights.
 
Given the tenor and nature of McChrystal's remarks, he should be and likely will be fired. He should consider himself lucky to be allowed to retire without disgrace beyond what has been revealed. It's gross insubordination of the highest order, and gives aid and comfort to an enemy in a time of war.
 
2) Steven Newman -- The definition of chutzpah must now be updated. In the dictionary, a man who kills both his parents, then throws himself on the mercy of the court for being orphaned has always been the gold standard in chutzpah. But now, here we have one of the men most directly responsible for the Gulf oil spill whining about Obama's temporary moratorium on new drilling in the Gulf! (see also the cartel in London)
 
3) Miley Cyrus -- Normally, I could give a rat's ass about celebs, but here's a case where someone who's start in show business came about ONLY because her dad had a novelty country and western hit, suddenly believing they have talent and have earned their place in the pantheon of celebrity.
 
Good luck, Miley, it was nice knowing you. We expect naked photos and rehab by the end of the year.
 
4) Curren D. Price, California state senator -- Advertising on license plates. 'Nuff said.
 
5) Steve Jobs -- I love Apple. I love Apple computers, I love my iPhone, I love the new iPhone OS, I love my iPad. I hate the totalitarianism that Jobs sometimes inflicts on his customer base. That said, I wouldn't trade any of my Apple stuff for anything PC or Googled. 
 
6) Chimpanzees -- All we are saying, is give peace a chance. I fully expect the right wing to start confirming evolution with this revelation.
 
7) Megan Fox -- Noble concept. Let someone else do it. You can't act.
 
8) Portugal -- 7-0? Unnecessary.