Monday, July 18, 2011

Can Someone Explain Something To Me?

I've only been to Detroit once, and like poison ivy, it's an experience I would not want to repeat.
But I have a question: Detroit is basically land-locked: how do they get the damned ships out of there?
Yes, yes, I know, Great Lakes and all, but there's the little matter of Niagra Falls. Now, while I wouldn't mind the regular spectacle of morbidly obese Midwesterners screeching their little heads off as they plummet hundreds of feets to a murky watery death...and as a liberal and environmentally-aware American, this would trouble me, the sudden coating of grease on the Niagra and St. Lawrence rivers, but I suppose we could just burn it off a la the still troubles me the man-hours safety and wreck divers will have to commit to keep our nation's navigable waterways clear.