Friday, March 23, 2012

Nobody Asked Me, But...

1) I know I've said this before, but in the words of the immortal Bullwinkle J. Moose, "This time for sure!": Rick Santorum will abandon his campaign over the weekend, after Louisiana polls badly for him. He's at an interesting crossroads: he has set up the bones of a campaign structure for 2016, but he will have no public venue from which to self-promote (unless FOX News comes calling, something I doubt.)
Louisiana's convulted rules are only awarding 20 of 46 possible delegates tomorrow, and those will be divvied up only amongst those who poll better than 25% of the vote. Should Santorum (who is the only candidate above that number right now) slip out of the delegate grab or if Romney outpolls him, I think it's ballgame over.
3) And lest you think income inequality and vulture capitalists only exist in the commercial world, example 2 of the 1% behaving badly.
4) You remember a couple of weeks ago how Muslim groups across the New York metropolitan area were up in arms about New York City police infiltration and espionage? Well, sit down, white Americans. They targeted us too. I thought that dog hanging around my garden looked suspicious.
5) Tim Tebow, the evangelical football quarterback, is coming to play for the NY Jets. This will likely go down as the least-likely fit since, well, Kim Kardashian's marriage. My prediction: by the end of the season, Tebow will be caught in the back of a cab with a naked hooker and a bag of blow.
6) Speaking of unlikely travelers, the Pope is headed to Mexico and Cuba this weekend. Poor Rick Santorum must be running around in circles trying to catch his tail.
7) Poor Mickey Mou-- I mean, Bachmann. She owes ONE. MILLION. DOLLARS. in campaign debt. I guess she could auction off some of her kids. I mean, she has like two dozen. No one would miss the blond girls.
8) Ironically, it's ideas like this that have me running out to get my gun permit. It ends up becoming one huge game of chicken, don't you think?
9) Say what you will about the political implications of Romney campaign's biggest gaffe of the week, it's nice to see the Etch-a-Sketch get some prime time lovin'.
10) It melts in your mouth, and not in your lungs!