Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Reince? May I Recommend....

…a Grand Army of the Republicans, Inc.?


ALBUQUERQUE, New Mexico — Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus says his party needs to increase its numbers without changing its political platform in order to beat Democrats.

The Albuquerque Journal reports (http://bit.ly/Yx0a1L) that Priebus made the remarks during a speech Saturday in Albuquerque.

His remarks came less than a week after the NRC released a report recommending the party try to grow its ranks in part by supporting immigration overhaul efforts and offering more welcoming attitudes on gay rights.

And as my first act with this new authority, I will create a grand army of the Republic to counter the increasing threats of the Separatists.”


Because, frankly, I can’t see any other way besides manufacturing a clone army of old white hicks that they can expand their base without changing failed platforms and thirty five year old bromides that no longer work at attracting voters. If they ever really did.


Seriously! I mean, even the name – Reince Priebus – sounds like something George Lucas tossed down on paper in a drunken fit one night trying to write Episode Seven of Star Wars!


Ironically, Priebus said this at the same state Republican dinner that George P. Bush attended. You may remember him as one of the George H.W. Bush’s “little brown ones.” He is Jeb’s son, and his mother, the former Columba Gallo, was a Mexican immigrant. Her father was a migrant worker, so it’s not impossible he may have crossed the border a time or two himself.


You read that correctly: Reince Priebus called out a Bush. Moreover, he called out a Bush who will likely be a linchpin to any future Republican, Inc. party that somehow manages to survive the Sith lords that sit on top of it now like wheezing elephants.


And he called out a Bush who would be the perfect face for a shift in attitudes on the issue of immigration, better even than Senators Cruz or Rubio, who have either flip-flopped on the issue or taken such a stultified stance that to shift even a little would require the movement of tectonic plates.


So call me, Reince. I may have the cellphone number for the cloners of Kamino