Friday, May 16, 2014

Nobody Asked Me, But...

1) Let’s get the really important story out of the way first. ThumbPer, my cat, asked me: “Tal da hoomins dat red ur shitty lettel blawg dat cat es relayded too mee. Ah teeched her haow ta petch. Ah kin haz kontrack naow, Noo Yawk Mats?”

2) The cenotes in Mexico are filled with prehistoric artifacts and skeletons, so we know they are a treasure trove of archaeological information, but this find is right up there in importance.

3) President Obama hit all the right grace notes in his dedication of the 9/11 Memorial museum yesterday. Pity George Bush couldn’t be bothered to attend.

4) Speaking of whom, at least we can be sure this PDB was read.

5) In Southern California, there really are only two seasons: Mud season and fire season.

6)  Look, Donald Sterling…just go away. You can’t possibly believe you’ll prevail here and yes, you’ll tie the NBA up in knots for a while, but do you really think they were surprised or unprepared for your selfish little outburst? Expect players to abandon your team like it’s plague ridden. Which it is: you’re the illness.

7) Bigotry: It’s not just for Southerners.

8) “The rent is too damned high” guy is going to have to up his game.

9) Ring down the curtain and call upon the angelic choir, including HAARPists.

10) First, they came for the chocolate, and I did not speak out because of my acne. Then they came for the coffee, and I did not speak out because I can drink tea. Then they came for the hops, and HOLY SHIT!!!!! WHAAAAAAAT?!?!?!?!?!?!?