Friday, April 07, 2006

An Offer To The President

Libby: Bush OK'd leak


April 7, 2006

WASHINGTON -- For more than two years, President George W. Bush has decried leaks and threatened to fire anyone who revealed classified information. But a former White House aide told prosecutors it was Bush himself who authorized him to leak sensitive intelligence to rebut an Iraq war critic.
As you have effectively promised us you would fire yourself, you must be finding yourself in a bit of a pickle.

I mean, if you won't fire yourself, then surely Congress will keep you to your word, especially after the November elections when the Democrats will take back at least the Senate and very likely the House (the only reason the Republicans made gains in the House after the 2004 elections was due to the cynical manipulations of one Tom DeLay in Texas, forcing an illegal redistricting plan to secure more Republican seats, now under review by the SCOTUS).

Now, this may come as a shock to you, Mr. Bush, but you're running out of options to remain in office to complete two terms.

Many on the left take some of the things you've done-- passing the Patriot Act springs to mind-- as a signal that you are preparing to eventually declare the Constitution null and void, possibly after some really devastating "terrorist" attack, staged by you.

I have a simpler, more elegant solution: Declare your self queen. Monarch for lifetime, you can pass it onto Pierce or George the III, hell, your dyna-- I mean, family already has the royal thing in your blood! You're a distant cousin of Elizabeth II, and of Bill Clinton! You and the Clintons can exchange the throne every, say, ten years, as a sop to those pesky patriots who insist that there be free elections, though they don't seem to mind that you basically own the firm that runs them. So you can pull a Saddam and have yourself re-elected, ad infinitum, occasionally allowing Cousin Bill and Cousin Liz a say in who's next.

And check out the cool White House portrait I've painted for you...As Elton John always says, "America loves a good queen"...

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