Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Some New York Tail

So I'm walking along, the icy freezing rain stinging my cheeks and brow as I trudge through the small layer of precipitation that had pelted the sidewalks by Grand Central Station and 43rd Street, when the cheer "Free New York City Condoms! For Valentine's Day!" rings out.

As it was very cold, and very windy, and very wet, I couldn't exactly chalk this up to some mirage of the desert. Nevertheless, it took my brain a moment to connect those two....well, three...thoughts together....5....4....3...2...1...did she say "New York City Condoms"?

I pause momentarily in my stride, daring not to stop because, you see, this is a very busy sidewalk and to stop on a normal dry day is to risk a five-person pile up, nevermind in the sleet. I turn and continue on my way to the post office, making mental note to investigate upon my return. If she's still there.

I office my postal activities and gear up for the return walk, wrapping that which needs to be wrapped (not including condom and penis), gloving that which needs to be gloved (again, not including...) and zipping that which needs to be zipped (not including...). I make my approach slowly. Told you. Slick conditions. I had to be sure to give myself ample time to stop.

Sure enough, three pretty young ladies are standing in front of the Equinox health club, handing out...NYC Condoms. Naturally, I grab a couple. I figure it ought to be good for a laugh and maybe a few bucks on eBay.

Funny, they didn't seem particularly embarassed to be handing out condoms to strange men walking past them in a hurry. In fact, the men seemed more embarassed about taking them. I guess the cold and wind and rain had something to do with that.

Of course, one might wonder why NYC needs a condom....