Friday, April 03, 2009

Nobody Asked Me, But...

1) We're Americans, and you aren't our Queen anymore. We hug. Get over it.
2) We're Americans. We don't have to follow tradition and invite our fiancee's family to the engagement and give them ammunition for the next five decades of reunions!
3) We're Americans. We give gifts that have meaning to the person who receives it, not some stupid bronze statue that's a copy of a crappy statue in Texas.
4) Last week it was vampires in Boston. This week, zombies in Chattanooga. LEAVE BRITNEY ALONNNNNE!!!!!!!!!
6) We're Americans! We can't be bothered figuring shit out on our own!
7) This is your robot. This is your robot on brains. Any questions?
8) Four words if you start bleeding: You're doing it wrong.
9) We're Germans! We like filth!
10) Hell, if he does windows and scoops cat littler, I'll marry him!
11) This is just wrong on so many levels!