Monday, February 01, 2010

From Your Friends At Ralph Spoilsport Motors

This just in from one of the funniest men on the planet, Phil Proctor:


This morning I was awakened by my alarm clock powered by

electricity generated by the public power monopoly regulated

by the US Department of Energy. I then took a shower in

the clean water provided by the municipal water utility. After

that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC regulated channels

to see what the National Weather Service of the National

Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration determined

the weather was going to be like, using satellites designed,

built, and launched by the National Aeronautics and Space

Administration. I watched this while eating my breakfast of

US Department of Agriculture inspected food and taking the

drugs which have been determined as safe by the Food and

Drug Administration.


At the appropriate time as regulated by the US Congress and

kept accurate by the National Institute of Standards and Tech-

nology and the US Naval Observatory, I get into my National

Highway Traffic Safety Administration approved automobile

and set out to work on the roads built by the local, state, and

federal departments of transportation, possibly stopping to

purchase additional fuel of a quality level determined by the

Environmental Protection Agency, using legal tender issued

by the Federal Reserve Bank. On the way out the door I deposit

any mail I have to be sent out via the US Postal Service

and drop the kids off at the public school.


After spending another day not being maimed or killed at

work thanks to the workplace regulations imposed by the

Department of Labor and the Occupational Safety and Health

Administration, enjoying another two meals which again do

not kill me because of the USDA, I drive my NHTSA car back

home on the DOT roads, to my house which has not burned

down in my absence because of the state and local building

codes and fire marshal's inspection, and which has not been

plundered of all its valuables thanks to the local police department.

I then log on to the Internet which was developed by the

Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency and post on

free republic and Fox News forums about how SOCIALISM in

medicine is BAD because the government can't do anything right.