Pain In The Ass

Reason.com’s Hit & Run* blog has a story about one David Eckert who was pulled over for rolling a stop sign and subsequently and -- ahem -- extensively searched. Following his arrest Erkert was taken to two hospitals and subject to two X-rays, two digital probes of his butt, three enemas, and a colonoscopy, none of which found drugs but gave Mr. Eckert the just-got-off-a-horse gait. After his butt was found to be clean Eckert got his sue on. He sued the police officers, the hospital, and two physicians; he was awarded $1.6 million. Reason explains the reason for the suit thusly (emphasis mine):

“Eckert... sued various Deming and Hidalgo County police officers; the hospital, which billed him more than $6,000 for these indignities; and two physicians, Robert Wilcox and Okay Odocha, who executed the elaborate assault under the cover of medicine.”

This is the kind of prose I have come to loathe and hate from Reason. There was no medicine being practiced here, Reasondotcom. They were searching for drugs. The cops were not concerned about the polyp in Mr. Eckert’s bum. They were concerned about the dope he wasn’t smuggling. Granted, after nothing fell out of his ass after the second enema, you’d think they would have given up. Plus, charging him was a pretty shitty move. Eckert’s attorney, Shannon Kennedy, did well but needs to work on her phrasing because she told the AP:

"It was medically unethical and unconstitutional. He feels relieved that this part is over and believes this litigation might make sure this doesn't happen to anyone else."

I’m not sure which is worse, that she actually said something was medically unconstitutional or that Eckert feels “relieved.” Trust me when I say Eckert isn’t “relieved” -- those inflatable donuts are not as comfortable as they look. But, then again that’s a good description of a solid BM. Apparently, as Reasondotcom explains at the end, a drug dog alert the police to the driver’s seat and the cops described Eckert as nervous as he stood with his legs together. Maybe he just had to pee?

*Hitting and running is illegal and wrong, kids, no matter how libertarian you are.