Nobody Asked Me, But

The weekly whip-around of the news you should have seen, but probably didn't:

1) From the DoggityBlog, we learn of squirrels infiltrating Iran. Jeez, you know, I wish that was a joke...

2) ...but that doesn't excuse the United States from unleashing its most terrifying weapon in Iraq to date: giant killer badgers!

3) Remember a couple of weeks ago, I was bemoaning the fact that the United States was falling desperately behind in keeping the lights on? It gets worse. Much worse. To the tune of $1.6 trillion just to maintain and repair our crumbling infrastructure!

4) Yes, but damn, those tax cuts are just TOO important!

5) Call me a Muggle, but the last Harry Potter book does even less for me than any of the first six, which was basically zero, so we're talking negative impact here. The new movie is pretty good, though.

6) As an actor, I admit it's been fun watching Daniel Radcliffe grow as an actor. He has the best shot at a real career as an actor, followed by Rupert Grint.

7) Barry Bonds is just two home runs away from Hank Aaron's record. This has been like root canal, following this story for so long: painful, and it could have been prevented.

8) The Emmy nominations are out. YAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWN! Most of the major awards are useless exercises in stupidity, vapidity, and outright cocksuckery. I can thoroughly understand why Brando and Scott skipped the Oscars when they won.

9) Tilting at windmills, Jude? As snarky as that sounds, I have to applaud that he is at least speaking out.

10) This is no story. We have a hydrocephalic moron for president. Match THAT, France! Oh. Right. You did.

11) I've said it before: The UN reports on the environment, in a nod to the Bush administration, grossly understate glacial melting.

12) ESPN must be spinning in its grave. Not dead yet? Don't worry, just give it time. A network that has to scrape so far as to broadcast spelling bees and "rock, scissors, paper" competitions as sport is not long for this world.

13) So now we know where the Simpsons live. Funny, I don't recall Homer skiing much. Must be that global warming. Damned global warrrrminggggg....

14) To say that life for me these past two months has been challenging is an understatement. I think there's a change underway. Something to change my luck a little.

15) Bush to have colonoscopy, to remove fragments of brain that still linger.