Friday, November 02, 2007

Nobody Asked Me, But...

Don't forget to vote for Simply Left Behind in the 2007 Weblog Awards!

1) Apparently, it's not Sen. Robert Byrd...

2) I'd fly first class to Singapore just to test this rule. Of course, I'd be alone, but I've never been very quiet.

3) Here's your fucking War On Christmas, BillO! Why don't you whiiiiiiiiiiiiine about how crass and commercialized our Lord's birthday has become, instead of picking on honest people who hold different religious beliefs, you sleazy bastard?!

4) Damn! So much for my new weight-loss program: burgers, beer, and laying out on the couch watching TV!

5) Improve your sex life! With bacon????

6) Give Obama credit: it took him a while but he seems to have rattled Hillary's cage.

7) I don't think it will matter much after January, however.

8) Clinton plays the 'woman' card
Clinton plays the 'woman' card

Interesting tactic. On the one hand, I'm thoroughly repulsed by this, no less than I would be if someone...say, Barack Obama...played the race card. On the other hand, you have it, throw it down. It will inoculate her for the general election.

9) Why does South Carolina hate America so?

10) I did think Stephen Colbert's run for the Presidency was a bad idea, particularly in this election with so much at stake. That's why I am running for "NotPresident". I felt the gravitas of the 2008 election was far too great for me to run a serious campaign parody. (donations accepted here)

11) I did wonder where the white lines on the court went when she played...

12) According to Rudy Giuliani, you are twice as likely to die of prostate cancer in England as you are in America. His pointed jab was at socialized medicine, naturally. However, it turns out that you are much more likely to be diagnosed prostate cancer (same study) in the US as you are in Britain. Why? Because we have in place a publicly-financed (socialized medicine isn't just about treatment) publicity campaign which causes more Americans to get tested! I should point out that prostate cancer, if your life span is long enough, is a near-100% iron-clad guarantee to hit any male human (with small exceptions that are being studied now).

13) Are you a Young Republican who supports the invasion of Iraq, but can't lift a rifle and stand a post? Now you can serve your country and not worry about accidental discharge! Except maybe propulsive diarrhea...

14) Finally, a right-winger wakes up and begins to realize what a miserable failure his life has been. Naturally, he blames liberal Hollywood.