SPARTANBURG, S.C. - Republican Rep. Duncan Hunter, best known for his advocacy on behalf of the military, launched a longshot bid for the presidency Thursday in this early voting state.Hm. First off, his district is in California. Second, to call this a longshot is grossly understating the case.
Here's how Hunter wins the nomination, and if he hires Karl Rove, keep in mind you heard it here first:
1) Mitt Romney, while filming a campaign commercial in Iowa uding the same director who filmed the Pepsi ads featuring the Jackson, has his hair explode in flames.See? Lognshot, but all of it very doable!
2) John McCain suddenly announces in December 2007 that he did, in fact, father a baby while a POW in Vietnam. While this revelation does not knock him out of the race, and even increases his appeal to the pro-life Christian Coalition, new Sift Boat allegations of a gay stag film begin to surface.
3) Sam Brownback opens his mouth and actually gets noticed by the media.
4) Chuck Hagel declares he will not run, as he too was a POW in the same camp as McCain, unbeknownst to us for all these years. He says he was running from the "movies" he made while held.
5) Rudy Giuliani impregnates a campaign worker.
6) Ronald Reagan rises from the undead to announce his endorsement of Hunter.
7) George W. Bush announces his endorsement of "that Eyetalian feller or that gay POW, one them guys."
8) The supervolcano under Yellowstone explodes in January 2008, coating all of America under six feet of lava and ash. Except for CA-52.
snarkasm, snarcasm, snarky
2008 presidential election
Republicans
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