Wednesday, June 21, 2006

A Real Fluff Piece

You all know the term "fluff piece", which is essentially a non-story story that uncovers no new ground on an issue or personality: basically, a softball designed to put the person in the best (or worst) possible light.

This is nothing like that:
Fluffernutter Sandwich Angers Mass. Senator

Associated Press Writer

June 21, 2006, 7:49 AM EDT

BOSTON -- It's creamy, it's sweet and it's become a staple of lunch boxes for generations of New England school children.

Now, the beloved Fluffernutter sandwich -- the irresistible combination of Marshmallow Fluff and peanut butter, preferably on white bread with a glass of milk handy -- finds itself at the center of a sticky political debate.
How to make a Fluffernutter. First you spread spread spread your bread with peanut butter, add Marshmallow Fluff and have a Fluffernutter. Moving onto the sticky issue:
Sen. Jarrett Barrios was outraged that his son Nathaniel, a third-grader, was given a Fluffernutter sandwich at the King Open School in Cambridge. He said he plans to file legislation that would ban schools from offering the local delicacy more than once a week as the main meal of the day.

The Democrat said that his amendment to a bill on junk food in schools may seem "a little silly" -- but that school nutrition is serious.
School nutrition IS serious, no doubt about it. A pity the Federal government doesn't seem to think so, seeing as the program was developed by Republicans when it was felt that school children weren't getting sufficient nutrition to help America compete against godless Commies who were sending rockets to the moon and goodness knows, some of them might have weapons of mass destruction on them...

But I digress, again. Perhaps there's a way to smooth out the senator and get the Cambridge school out of this jam? Let's see:
His proposal seemed anything but silly to Rep. Kathi-Anne Reinstein, a Democrat whose district in Revere is near the company that has produced the marshmallow concoction for more than 80 years, Durkee-Mower Inc.

She responded with a proposal to designate the Fluffernutter the "official sandwich of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts."

"I'm going to fight to the death for Fluff," Reinstein said.
Strong words, you'll agree. Apparently, Ms. Reinstein is no marshmallow, but has strong resolve to protect her interests. Jarring words, to be sure. Still, there's hope:
An aide to Barrios insisted the senator is not anti-Fluff and even plans to co-sponsor Reinstein's bill, although he still believes schools should cut back on Fluffernutters.

"He loves Fluff as much as the next legislator," aide Colin Durrant said.
It seems the senator's position might soften, as I'm sure this bill will not be sandwiched between trivial matters like Massachussetts health care and the bill to fund the commission to find the missing "R's" in New England patois.

I'm sure they'll whip this past the legislature.

(Author's Disclosure: I was a freak for Fluff back in elementary school.)

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